i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
