Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
