Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
