you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize