its not stalking. its research.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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