Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
