This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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