I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
