WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
