yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize
