if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize