You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
