that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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