apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
