whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
