I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize