and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
