I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
