how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
