I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
