sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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