very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize