lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
