It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
