someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
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we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
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ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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