I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
