I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Randomize
