pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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