one might say we're banned from that church
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
