Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize