I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
