last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize