yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
