'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
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I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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