Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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