you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
