The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
last night I used snow as a chaser
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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