I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
