Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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