Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
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I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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