am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
