The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I have feelings that need drinking.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
