i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize