He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
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I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
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cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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