Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
