All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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