Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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