Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I know her cup size but not her name....
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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