so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
