just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
smell my finger.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
