we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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