Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
