I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
