is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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