this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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