1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
