Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
