arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
